“Can’t you take a joke?” “Why are you so sensitive?” “It’s just a prank, it isn’t hurting anyone.” These types of comments flood social media when the subject of insensitive jokes and pranks arise. But are jokes always harmless? Or can they be used to either intentionally or unintentionally hurt others?
Listen to an episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to learn more about this topic or scroll down!
Pranks:
As anyone with a social media account knows, pranking others often results in millions of “likes.” But when are these pranks really a form of abuse? Abuse doesn’t necessarily refer to physical violence, it can also refer to emotional violence. If the other party in these videos is not laughing, are these pranks funny? Or are they harmful?
The Role of Humiliation:
A sign of emotional violence, also known as emotional abuse, is humiliation. This occurs when “your partner intentionally humiliates you by using actions, statements, or gestures to attack your self-esteem and self-worth publicly or privately.” For people using abuse, these pranking videos may serve as another method of controlling their partner.
“When you’re pranking someone on the Internet, you’re upping that humiliation from a handful of people to 500,000 or 5 million,” says M.C. Robinson, the host of JBWS’ podcast Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse. “If people are laughing at these videos, then it’s almost an endorsement of the behavior and could even invalidate the pain of the person being hurt.”
There Might be No Mark, Yet there is Hurt
“Humiliation doesn’t leave a bruise; it doesn’t leave a mark. It doesn’t show unless the person who’s enduring the violence is willing to show it,” says Fiorella Diaz, the director of housing and supportive services at JBWS.
It is harder to identify emotional abuse because there are no physical marks. A person may not realize that they are experiencing this form of abuse. While not all pranks are abusive, cutting someone’s hair off while they’re sleeping, cracking an egg on an unsuspecting person’s forehead, shoving wedding cake into someone’s face without their knowledge, all boil down to one thing – a lack of consent.
Consent is Key
When considering whether a joke or a prank might be harmful to your partner, consider consent. Without consent, these types of jokes can become a means of control, where one person is constantly humiliated by their partner.
However, complete, honest, and true communication can ensure that you aren’t taking advantage of your partner. “If you talk about how you’re going into this relationship and how you’re going to come out of it, then that’s consensual,” says Fiorella.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a good-natured joke or a prank, but ask yourself – are you laughing together or is one party laughing at you?
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline Website
Stream this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse on YouTube
