What Are Healthy Relationships?
Does your partner respect your opinions? Do you accept responsibility for your own actions? Is there a fair distribution of work in your relationship?
Having a healthy relationship does not mean that you never make mistakes, have disagreements, or experience other forms of difficulty in your relationship. It just means that you and your partner(s) are communicating, respectful, and able to make mutual decisions.
There is a lot of discourse about unhealthy relationships, which focus on recognizing the “red flags” of problematic behaviors. While those conversations are critically important, discussing the signs of a healthy relationships is equally important.
Elements of Healthy Relationships:
The information below is adapted from the Duluth Model Equality Wheel
Negotiation and Fairness:
Partners seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict, can accept change and are willing to compromise.
Non-Threatening Behavior:
Partners speak and act in ways that cultivate and support a safe and comfortable environment in which they can express themselves and make decisions.
Respect
Partners listen non-judgmentally, are understanding and emotionally affirm and value their partner’s opinions.
Trust and Support:
Partners support each other’s goals and respect each other’s feelings, friends, activities, contributions and opinions.
Honesty and Accountability:
Partners accept responsibility for themselves, acknowledge past behaviors, can admit being wrong and communicate openly and truthfully.
Shared Responsibility:
Partners reach mutual agreement on fair distribution of work and make family decisions together.
Economic Partnership:
Partners make financial decisions together ensuring that both partners benefit from financial arrangements.
Responsible Parenting:
Partners share parental responsibilities and are positive, non-violent role models for children
Three Forms of Relationships
If you do not feel like you relationship is healthy, does that mean that it's considered an abusive relationship? Not necessarily. Learn more about Healthy, Unhealthy, and Abusive relationships below.
Healthy
A healthy relationship means both you and your partner are:
- Communicating
- Respectful
- Trusting
- Honest
- Equal
- Enjoying personal time away from each other
- Making mutual choices
- Economic/financial partners
Unhealthy
You may be in an unhealthy relationship if your partner is:
- Not communicating
- Disrespectful
- Not trusting
- Dishonest
- Trying to take control
- Only spending time together
- Pressured into activities
- Unequal economically
Abusive:
Abuse is occurring in a relationship when one partner is:
- Communicating in a hurtful or threatening way
- Mistreating
- Accusing the other of cheating when it's untrue
- Denying their actions are abusive
- Controlling
- Isolating their parter from others
For Those Experiencing Abuse
If you think you might be in an unhealthy relationship, JBWS can help. Please call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit JBWS.org/services to learn more about how we can help.
Are you interested in learning more about safety planning, restraining orders, the impact of domestic violence on children, the power and control wheel, and much more? Click here.
For Those Using Abuse
If you recognize unhealthy, controlling, or abusive behaviors in yourself, then JBWS is here to help. Please visit jbws.org/jcnv or call 973-539-7801 to learn how to stop using these behaviors.