What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship?

There is a lot of discussion right now about unhealthy relationships, which focus on recognizing the “red flags” of problematic behaviors. While those conversations are critically important, discussing the signs of a healthy relationships is equally important.


Here are 8 things to look for in a healthy relationship.


Negotiation and Fairness:

Partners seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict, can accept change and are willing to compromise.

  • Asks your opinion and respectfully listens to your answers
  • Is comfortable with you having different opinions from them
  • Does not take it as a personal insult if you disagree with them



Non-Threatening Behavior:

Partners speak and act in ways that cultivate and support a safe and comfortable environment in which they can express themselves and make decisions.

  • Is someone who you feel safe with
  • Makes positive statements about your strengths and achievements




Partners listen non-judgmentally, are understanding and emotionally affirm and value their partner’s opinions.

  • Cultivates a safe atmosphere where you can share thoughts and  feelings
  • Treats other people, as well as themself, with respect



Trust and Support:

Partners support each other’s goals and respect each other’s feelings, friends, activities, contributions and opinions.

  • Supports your relationships with friends and family.
  • They spend time with your friends and family to get to know them, and will give you space to spend time with your friends and family alone
  • Trusts you and is trustworthy



Honesty and Accountability:

Partners accept responsibility for themselves, acknowledge past behaviors, can admit being wrong and communicate openly and truthfully.

  • Accepts responsibility for their own behavior, thoughts and feelings
  • Apologizes when they are wrong and accepts your apology when you are wrong


Shared Responsibility:

Partners reach mutual agreement on fair distribution of work and make family decisions together.

  • Considers your relationship a partnership
  • Is someone who you feel safe with



Economic Partnership:

Partners make financial decisions together ensuring that both partners benefit from financial arrangements.

  • Expects both/all partners to control their own money
  • Does not use manipulation (financial, emotional, etc.) to get what they want


Responsible Parenting:

Partners share parental responsibilities and are positive, non-violent role models for children

  • Shares in decision-making
  • Resolves conflicts through clear dialogue without using insults, threats or  violence