Jamal was only a child when he first saw an incident of abuse occur between his parents. Throughout his childhood, Jamal routinely witnessed both verbal and physical abuse. Growing up in an abusive household caused Jamal to mimic these behaviors in his own relationships.
After an incident of domestic abuse, Jamal was referred to JBWS’ Abuse Ceases Today (A.C.T) program by the Department of Child Protection and Permanency. The A.C.T. program is a 26-session group counseling initiative designed for men. It teaches men who have caused harm in their relationships to examine belief systems, develop healthy communication skills, learn to manage disagreements, cope with strong emotions, and understand how domestic abuse impacts children.
At first, Jamal struggled to reflect on his own use of abuse. While he recognized that his behavior was inexcusable, he expressed blame toward his partner when talking about the incident of abuse. However, as the weeks progressed and Jamal began to actively engage in conversation with his peers, his attitude began to change.
Jamal started to acknowledge his use of power and control, particularly regarding his child. He realized that his own childhood experiences of abuse impacted his learned behaviors. Concerned for how his actions may one day influence his child, Jamal completely committed himself to the A.C.T. program. He continued to reflect on his own experiences, showed genuine support for other members in the group, and even assumed a leadership role.
Near the end of his time in group, Jamal realized that his abusive behavior had impacted his ability to both listen and communicate with his family. He recognized that he had adopted an aggressive parenting style because that’s what he experienced as a child. Motivated to have a close relationship with his family, Jamal has implemented what he’s learned in the A.C.T. program to make positive changes in his family.
“I wish I knew about the A.C.T. program sooner. It would have been an effective tool when I was younger,” says Jamal. “The information we learn here would be helpful for everyone to know.”
If you recognize any abusive or controlling behaviors in yourself, then JBWS can help: jbws.org/jcnv or 973-539-7801
