The most dangerous time in a victim’s life is when they are leaving their abusive relationship. When an abusive partner feels they are losing control, their behavior may escalate. That’s why it is critical to develop a safety plan before, during, and after leaving the relationship.
*Please note, every single person’s situation is different. This article is only referencing general tips for safety. You are the expert in your own safety.
Prepare Before Leaving the Abusive Relationship
If you are considering leaving an unhealthy relationship, then some helpful preparations may include:
- Identifying a safe place where you could stay if necessary
- Taking photos or making copies of important documents
- Gathering essential medications and personal items
- Storing necessities with a trusted friend or family member
Think About Technology Safety in Abusive Relationships
Technology has become an increasingly common tool for monitoring and tracking people. Phones, social media accounts, computers, and even vehicles may store or share your location.
Consider:
- Changing passwords on important accounts
- Reviewing location-sharing settings
- Checking devices for tracking concerns
- Being cautious about posting your location online
Taking these precautions can help protect your privacy and reduce opportunities for unwanted monitoring.
Build a Support System
Abuse often thrives in isolation. One of the most important safety strategies is letting trusted people know what is happening.
Consider reaching out to:
- Close friends or family members
- Domestic violence advocates
- Community organizations
- Trusted neighbors
Continue Safety Planning After Leaving Abuse
Many people assume the planning ends once they leave, but safety planning is often just as important afterward. Creating new routines and remaining aware of potential risks can help increase safety during this transition period.
Helpful strategies may include:
- Taking different routes to work or school
- Changing predictable daily routines
- Informing schools or childcare providers of safety concerns
- Documenting unwanted contact or concerning behavior
These adjustments can make it more difficult for an abusive partner to predict your whereabouts.
Safety Planning for Abuse Is Personal
There is no single “right” way to leave an abusive relationship. Every person’s circumstance, support system, and safety concerns are different. The most effective safety plans are tailored to the individual and evolve as circumstances change.
Reach out to your local domestic violence agency for individualized support.
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/
More Information on Developing a Safety Plan: https://jbws.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Developing-a-Safety-Plan.pdf
Morris County, NJ 24-Hour Helpline & Referral: 1.877.782.2873
Passaic County, NJ 24-Hour Helpline & Referral: 1.973.881.1450
